You are exactly where you need to be, You are not missing out, falling behind, doing it wrong, not trying hard enough. Whatever opinions you may have about it, however imperfect. THIS IS YOURS WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW IS P E R F E C T !

01 February 2007

Don't dwell on the flaws...

"It is important to remember that your troubles are probably more apparent than real, no matter how real or significant they seem."
The sentece above is a quote from a prediction for the day. I feel like I need to remember it and here's why....

I am troubled. I am angry with myself. I am angry because I had to turn down a weekend's "money for nothing" effort because I have to much to do at work and I have no free time to take on the assignment. I am angry with myself because I had to be egoistical.
I am angry with myself because once I had said NO to being a guide to some italian tourists I felt I had let the people that were asking me of the favor down.
I am angry with them for making me angry. I am angry with them for not taking no for an answer and trying to persuade me.

I am angry because I felt that chatting about with 50 tourists for n hours after a150% work day on friday plus enlightening them with bits of history for about 5 hours on sunday (time on which I had planned to catch up with other work related projects) felt like such a burden that I din't trust myself to do it. And no amount of money in the world would have changed the fact that I din't want to do it. Even if they tried to say that I hade missunderstood the amounts to begin with. Stupid people. It's not about the money you know.

I am angry because taking on the assignment would rattle me wayyyyyy out of my comfort zone. I am angry because when push comes to shove I am a pleaser. I hate to displease myself. I hate to displease others. My logical self's cornering of my real self into going out of my nature, forcing me to say no does no good to my ego. No good at all.

1 comment:

  1. te kuptoj fare mire.Mos e fajeso veten.Kur njeriu eshte i mbushur deri ne fyt,ben mire te shmanget,pasi nuk eshte mire dhe per te tjeret.nuk shoh asgje te gabuar ne sjelljen tende , mos e lodh veten kot.
    zaten,nuk ja paska vlejt vertet me u marr me ata turistat,s'paskan qene rob te kapshem hiç:))
    fundjave te mbare dhe relax:)